Monday, February 16, 2009

To all my Facebook Stalkers

Dear Facebook Stalker, 

Recently I have felt the presence of stalkers on Facebook.  You know who you are, and hopefully I can convert you to start stalking my blog and not my Facebook, however I understand this is not possible so you can now stalk my blog as well as my Facebook . This is a task that is going to involve work on both our parts. My job will be to start posting on a regular basis, informing you of my life and my surroundings. In return you will now have to check my blog regularly, which is a pain in the ass, but I know you have the time. I would suggest devoting 1% of you Facebook time to my blog. This for the average Facebook stalker will work out to approximately 15 mins a day, which is more than enough time.  
Now for all you stalkers I have to figure out a way to have you commit 15 mins of your day to me. My good looks and boyish charm really should be enough, but I feel as if you kids these days aren't swayed by these kind of tactics. Here are a few ideas i have had:
I could write and post back stories to everything that is happening to me on Facebook, and my friends. I can also give a forecast of postings that I believe will be written on my wall but are not yet done. I would kind of be the Perez Hilton of my sad little world which I am convinced would be dreadfully uninteresting. But for some sick and twisted reason I believe if this was to be the focus of my blog I would have a very devoted group of followers, whose lifes (no offense) are that much more dreadfully uninteresting.
One of the more likely scenarios is that I will be posting art, movies, music, food, and books that I like or hate. I believe in spreading information, and I think this could be a good way of doing so. But right now I am in Kalamazoo, Michigan and I am not leaving my room much, so I feel as if the information I am currently taking in has been absorbed and spit out by a trillion other sources. With the posting of art and such scenario, it will be less writing and more media posting. I know its hard to read this all and can only imagine its not to catchy. 
Another option for my blog is to strictly talk about what I am going to do, and not actually do anything. I like this, and find that this is how I like to treat everything I do in the world everything from the amount of art I make to the amount of girls I get to talk to me and then go out with me. So with this I shall leave you with David Sedaris, an author I am currently reading and enjoying very much, and felt that this statement related very much to me:
I can't seem to fathom that the things important to me are not important to other people as well, and so I come off sounding like a missionary, someone whose job it is to convert rather than listen. 

Thus I have created a blog?

 

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