Lent and Giving Up

Dear Fellow Suffers of Addiction and Habit,

Today is the first day of lent, which means in my book you still have a week or so to jump on the bandwagon and start forgetting your unhealthy habits. I dont personally believe in doing lent for religious purposes, I just think that is good form to be able to stay in control of yourself and to try giving up something up once and a while. It builds character. Some things that would not be wise to give up would be things such as breathing, or eating. This is what I would call unwise or just plain stupid. Trust me on this one I'm speaking from experience. I tried not breathing today, and that lasted all of about, 30 seconds. However I would say thats a lot better than how I did with not eating which lasted all of about, 15 seconds. What can I say, Im fat.

All bad jokes aside though I really did start my lent today.  I gave up going out to eat, which I did two years ago and it worked out great. This is also a huge money saver. Now this one is hard for me because it involves all food and drink places, as well as convenience stores. It also involves a little planning ahead for your day, like making lunch and having groceries in your house for dinner and breakfast. Either that or rich friends. But...  don't rely on your friends, or go out to eat with them and when the check comes, explain your dilemma of lent. You will come across as cheap, and an asshole. Also I am doing this with a friend so we can hold each other accountable, I would recommend such a thing. Now there are some exceptions to the rule, such as trying not die. The goal for this lent is saving money, and maybe eating a little healthier, if you happen to get in a bind such as birds have attacked that delicious sandwich you've made, and you wont see your own home for at least another 10 hours, I would say go buy some food. But don't rely on birds attacking, this is rare. But don't get lazy either, and say, "well birds might attack, so ill just not pack a sandwich and save the struggle." Lent is supposed to be a little bit of a struggle, it builds character. The other exception to this rule is travel. This is a big one for me because I am going to Berlin at the beginning of April. So for a few days while I travel and get settled in, I am going to have to rely on eating out. And come on I will be able to legally drink for the first time!!!, do you really think Im not going to stop by the bar at least once! But I am shooting for no more than three days of not committing to my lent. 

Other than not going out to eat, I am going to be giving up a few other things for lent. Several things ran through my mind. First I thought about giving up sex, but I feel as if I am doing pretty good with that so far, and you know I might want to keep my options open. So next I thought about giving up exercise. But my six pack should arrive any day now so I figure I will keep that up. I started thinking about not shaving for 40 days but no one wants to see a man with a glistening face of blonde peach fuzz. I felt that if I gave up shaving, then the natural progression would be for me to give up sex. And as I have said already Im going to keep my options open(Ladies)

.... (Creepy).  So I went to the internet for some suggestions. I found this great website that suggested helping the environment by giving stuff up. Out of those suggestions I think I can give most of them up, except for dryers. I love the feel of clothes right out of the dryer. But I feel as if I don't have a hard time saving the planet day in and day out. So I decided to give up swearing no more gds or fus or mfs or cts for forty days. 

 

Now here are some things I will definitely not be giving up. Sandwiches, fun, Facebook, and blogging. Now if your one of those idiots that is giving up computers, my blog is an exception, because I would consider my blogs as being under the category of inspirational and self help oriented. And thats why I am challenging you all to give something up for lent. Some bad ideas would be alcohol, if you plan on going to Cancun, or deodorant, if you planning on being around me. Some good ideas would be smoking, if you have cancer (or don't), or elevators if you live in the city (this is a goal of mine one day.) I would also recommend cute girls to give up their boyfriends for 40 days and to start hanging out with me (remember I'm listed as self help oriented). So ladies and gentleman go out there, and seize the day. Get rid of something you feel might be harmful to your health, your money, or your conscience. I promise you, after a week or two you will not miss it as much, and you will feel like a whole new person. Hell if you have problems looking at yourself to much, give up mirrors, I hear after 40 days of not looking at you self you will be shocked by your own image and not care to much. So let me know what you have decided to give up, and I will keep you all updated on how my lent is progressing.

So as a final note, here is a little saying I heard in middle school: Sex can wait, masturbate. Unless your giving up masturbation, then masturbation can wait, sex is great. And if your giving up both, well I guess, your Fucked. Well actually, no your not. 

ps. I made a great sandwich today with italian bread, mayonnaise, muenster cheese, roast beef, and thinly sliced green apples. Its definitely a top five contender.