Since I have moved back to Kalamazoo, there is one place I have missed a lot from Chicago. This place is Trader Joes, the grocery store (ill call it TJs). I know this sounds strange but I think its one of the greatest places in the world. In Kalamazoo I go to Meijer Thrifty Acres not because I want to, but because its the only option. Somehow Meijer makes going to the grocery store absolutely miserable, I thought this was always the case, until I moved to Chicago. After a year of going to Jewel Osco and feeling the same misery I did at Meijer, I finally made the switch to TJs. It was as if the heavens had opened up for me, I finally saw that life was worth living, and any thoughts I might have had of suicide were completely obliterated.
Now one may ask why is TJs so great. Well ... my friends ... I'll tell you. First off, its the atmosphere, I don't feel as if I am going in to a place that was designed by a minimalist sterile doctor, who seems to hate life, and really only enjoy the color white. No, TJs has wooden shelves, a little color, and the friendliest staff you'll ever meet. I have never felt like the staff in TJs has somewhere else to be, and somehow they make me feel important, which is nice. So when this does happen at Meijer, I want to shake those people and shout HEY ASSHOLE, IM IMPORTANT AND I PAY YOUR SALARY. Now I'll admit I don't go to grocery stores just for the experience, well not always, but TJs wins in the selection department as well. I hate going to Meijer looking for macaroni and having 12 different brands and 1,000 different shapes to choose from. I freak the fuck out! So when I go to TJs and see white cheddar, regular, and instant, I feel good because I can decide quickly. AND their quality of food is just better, I never have to worry if I am buying shitty food that is going to be bland and untasty. On top of that most of there food is organic, which I feel better buying. Now I don't have the money to shop at Whole Foods, but I don't like buying food that is pumped with unnecessary, corn syrup, or dehydrogenated oils when you just cant taste the difference. And usually when I get out of TJs I have about a $30-35 bill for a weeks worth of food, which is way better than a $50-60 bill at Jewel. Check out is the best time at TJs because they bag my groceries with brown paper, which makes me feel like I'm saving the world. Ill be honest I have the reusable bags, but i so often forget them, or bring too many bags, or too few. Or the bags aren't big enough to hold a large bottle. So I'm alright using paper, and paper holds up on the walk home unlike plastic. Walking to the grocery store is great, it gives you time to clear the head, build some muscle, and enjoy the scenery. Unfortunately this is a city thing, and for us country folks driving is a necessity.
There is some down falls to TJs, this being no deli counter, and I love and will only ever accept fresh sliced meats and cheeses, they make for better sandwiches. They also don't have very strong deodorants, and I'll be honest I only wear Old Spice because my Grandfather wore it. So for these times I march into Jewel and deal with shitty service, too many options, and crappy aesthetics. But otherwise I got to TJs and this video summarizes why I love Trader Joes so much. I hope I have persuaded anyone to shop there, because well its the epitome of life. And frankly I miss it.
Dan Delillo writes White Noise, which is a pretty good novel about American culture in which he uses the grocery store as a metaphor for death. I would largely agree with him, but think that he has never been to Trader Joes. So if you have read his book I would say to you: America there is still hope.
So... Thank You for Shopping, and please come again.
p.s. Iv never had thoughts of suicide.
Let me know if you also are addicted to Trader Joes ,or if you have found a better place.
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