Libraries

Dear fans of coffee shops,

Go there, and chat it up all you want, bring your kids to terrorize every inch of the building, and play the games on your computer with the sound all the way up, but please, please, don't come to my library.
Ok well, you can come, but be a little quieter. See folks Im just plain frustrated with going to libraries and not having the experience I could have. Libraries at one time were one of the places that I could go and read in absolute silence, and I didn't have to worry about buying anything in order to use the space or get information. I could go and write papers and do research or read books and get away from all the distractions of television, facebook and petty things such as who's dating who, or who got married most recently. It served as a relief from the coffee shops in which you go and pretend like your reading but in reality your watching and listening to everyone else's life. It was a place in which culture wasn't played out but rather taken in, and this was a wonderful thing. But as my life has become more about getting away from the distractions I get further and further upset with libraries, and more in tune with their realities.

Lately my experience with libraries has been less than perfect to say the least. And anymore I look at going into libraries and view my time there as a cultural experience. (A cultural experience is my way of saying Im dissatisfied with the people but hope to look at them in a positive way). But libraries should have standards and they aren't being kept and I would like to take this time to remind people of proper library etiquette based on bad experiences I have had.

1. The library is not a coffee house, and not a cafe, if you want to have a conversation please step outside.(This goes for cell phone users as well)
2. I am not an jerk for telling you to shut up or take your phone call outside.
3. If you are a librarian please take your personal phone calls in the back. I dont want to hear about how your third child's father wont pay child support.
4. Pick up you feet when you walk. This goes for everywhere, really.
5. The computers are not for playing games, or checking facebook, especially with the volume on.
6. Computers are not the only thing a library holds, you might be interested in the things that sit on the shelves as well.
7. Children under the age of 15 belong in the children's section, book shelfs are not jungle gyms.
8. I am not an asshole for pointing your child towards the children section. Your just a bad parent, and you shouldn't swear in front of them.
9. The library is not a dating service, stop hitting on the librarians, and holding up the checkout line... but mostly the latter (Iv been known to hit a librarian or two).
10. And for the librarians, its your job to help. My taxes pay for it. Don't act like you have something better to do when you leave. And flatter me a little bit when I flirt with you.

Also I have thought about some things libraries can do to hand back the culture that my tax dollars pay for.
Such as invest in music and movies that blockbuster or best buy dont carry. Movies from the criterion collection would be much better than big mamas house, or the family matters season 4 box set.
And wipe the dust off the two computers designated for searching for books, to at least make the appearance people still read.
Maybe we can designate the library computers be used for only 15 minutes unless for research, Its frustrating when you have to wait in line to look up a book while you watch a 49 year old homeless man play tetris.

I love the library, and I want to continue to love libraries which can be used as a haven of peace, that inspire knowledge and learning. But as of right now I might as well have my haven of peace be the grocery store outdoor furniture department. (Its nice there and no one will bother you or make you buy a coffee.)
So readers please let me know of your library problems or your worst library stories. (I like responses a lot but Im not hearing anything, give me a reason to keep writing these.)

And Kafka on the Shore is a book by Haruki Murakami it has some good things to say about libraries and how ones spiritual makeup is put together. Check it out at your local library.